How Many Ways Can we be ‘Normative’?
To begin this discussion, I propose a quote: “I don’t set out to offend or shock, but I also don’t do anything to avoid it.” –Sarah Silverman
-Marlith-/Flikr
As American University is a magnet of gay students, gay-themed issues significantly dominate campus politics. One word in particular I hear being thrown around always leaves a bad taste in my mouth: heteronormative. I had never heard of this word or this idea until the summer I worked for the University, but once I heard it being used once, I suddenly tuned in to it being used everywhere.
As I understand it, heteronormativity is the idea that society is setup with norms and values that align sex, sexuality and gender roles. That however, is not how I hear it being used.
Maybe it’s the kind of person I hear use it, maybe it’s the frequency with which I hear it used trivially: either way I cannot stand it. When it’s being used to analyze our culture in an investigative sense, I think heteronormativity can play a role. In everyday conversation, it doesn’t. Too often have I heard someone use the word heteronormative to condemn what they feel discriminates or oppresses them.
I honestly believe that the word is used by self-satisfying gay activists to blame society for how discriminated against they feel. They relish trying to make all heterosexuals the enemy, blaming that entire group for every wrong they feel they have ever suffered. But with regards to those who would discriminate, it’s not because they’re a heterosexual, it’s because they’re bigoted. Always playing the heteronormative card isn’t offering any constructive social innovation, it’s just a politically charged form of whining.
Posted in Wingin' It
February 15th, 2011 at 2:35 pm
Great article discussing a topic you know nothing about!
The idea of “heteronormativity” isn’t that gay people are actively discriminated against, it’s that too often people say and think things that reflect the idea that heterosexuality is ‘normal,’ and being gay is somehow not normal. Does it really make no sense that a gay person would be offended by the idea that their natural feelings are abnormal?
People use discriminative language accidentally, not just on purpose. There’s not that black and white dichotomy between overt bigots and other people. You’re right, you and me are not discriminating because we’re heterosexual, and we’re not necessarily bigoted, either, but it doesn’t mean we’re not still discriminating.
So don’t try to play the victim when someone points out the implications in your language, even if it’s accidental. You’re not the one being discriminated against.
February 15th, 2011 at 2:38 pm
Also, Sarah Silverman? The worst. It’s saying that because she’s not actively trying to offend anyone in particular, she’s doing nothing wrong. If I’m just waving a knife around and I accidentally stab anyone, is it not my fault because I wasn’t angry at them? (Answer: No.)
(And how many times have you actually heard the word ‘heteronormative’? Really, enough times to write a terrible article about it?)
February 15th, 2011 at 3:04 pm
Heteronormativity is not about being discriminated against by people because they are heterosexual, but that the society in which we live in prioritizes heterosexual lifestyles and discriminates against people who do not conform to these lifestyle standards. It is not about individual bigots, but rather the bigoted system of oppression that permeates everyday life.
Maybe in your experience people over-use the word, but in my experience, not enough people are conscious of their behaviors and how without being bigoted, they are systematically oppressing people who do not conform to society’s sexual norms.
February 15th, 2011 at 3:57 pm
No, you cannot be the new Alex Knepper. Nobody cares anymore.
February 15th, 2011 at 7:10 pm
The author’s intention is not to abolish the descriptor heteronormative from actual intelligent, academic discussion; he is merely trying to get oftentimes self-righteous people to stop using it as a blanket term to cover any behavior they deem discriminatory.
In our strive to constantly be the most politically correct university ever, the word heteronormative is incredibly overused here at AU. It has definitely lost its meaning. The concept of heteronormativity is prevalent in our society, but so many people in ANTH classes like Sex, Gender, and Culture are quick to use the word without bothering to delve into its deeper implications. Instead of pointing to something and flippantly saying “Oh, that’s so heteronormative,” it might be more constructive to examine the hows and whys, and what we can do to mend the situation.
February 15th, 2011 at 10:06 pm
I completely agree with the article, this whole heteronormative thing has gotten completely out of hand. A few days ago I was accused of being heteronormative when I asked a guy to stop describing every detail of his hook-up with another guy. I don’t hate gays, in fact, I am gay, I just didn’t want to hear it.
February 16th, 2011 at 3:15 am
Claire, that doesn’t seem to be the author’s intention, so unless he told you, I’m not sure how you’re interpreting “I honestly believe that the word is used by self-satisfying gay activists to blame society for how discriminated against they feel. They relish trying to make all heterosexuals the enemy, blaming that entire group for every wrong they feel they have ever suffered.” as anything but an intent to remove heteronormativity from discussion.
The problem is that people like Chris trivialize problems such as heteronormativity, gendered language, etc. as ‘the PC police coming to tell us what we can and can’t say,’ which, frankly, comes off as a way to blame the victim for being offended.
I understand if you’re in an anthropology class with a few overeager freshmen who are seeking conflict by pushing the term inappropriately–they’re immature, and hopefully they’ll grow out of it. But too often are people like them used as an excuse to write the problem off altogether.
To be honest, I’m not sure where you’re pulling the idea that AU is this hyper-politically correct campus, either, although you’re not the first one I’ve heard who claims this. My experience has been that the number of students who complain about this far outstrip those who push it–and when these complaints come, they are typically accompanied by the kind of obnoxious, short-sighted, and ignorant comment that so characterizes the stereotypical AU politically-active student.
February 16th, 2011 at 11:39 am
“When it’s being used to analyze our culture in an investigative sense, I think heteronormativity can play a role.”
This seems like evidence that Chris isn’t trying to abolish the word. But I’m really not trying to go back and forth, producing quotes that support how I interpreted this post.
My only argument—and I’m not sure that we disagree entirely—is that we as an academic society need to be careful relying too heavily on terminology to do our thinking for us.
Chris is talking about the word heteronormativity used in everyday language, where there’s often not a further discussion into HOW and WHY the situation is gendered and discriminatory. People tend to latch on to a particular phrase and use it without bothering to explore its implications.
And you know what this post has done? Generated discussion on the actual idea of heteronormativity and its prevalence in our society, and why it exists. Personally, I think that’s constructive—even if you fervently disagree with Chris’s point.
February 17th, 2011 at 12:07 pm
EVERYONE:
HETERONORMATIVE IS SOOOOOOO 2009. OMG LOLOLOL.
But seriously.