A Sign for All Times

KAITLIN CARPENTER / THE EAGLE

Ack! What a waste of my Sharpie skills! I spent more than a week summing up my commentary on politics in a witty, poster-sized slogan, and then decorating it with glitter. But now that the rallies are over, and the midterm election results are in, what is a concerned American citizen to do with their jocular sign?

Never fear! Your finger-painting and purposefully offhand messages were not crafted in vain! Here are a few ways your message may still come in handy, even during a Republican House majority.

Sign Re-Purposement #1: Use your sign to have an actual tea party or just a party. Note: this may not be appropriate for little girls’ tea parties, depending on the content of your sign. Some good examples I saw for this were:
“Who’s up for Scrabble after this?” Directing your guests to party games
“Tea Parties are for little girls and Mad Hatters!” notifying your guests who is invited to your tea party
“I masturbate and I vote!” Encouraging your guests to…vote.

Sign Re-Purposement #2: Hip window decoration. Nothing says I’m cool, involved, and politically aware like celebrating your political statement all year. Some of you may worry that this makes you “that person” in the neighborhood — the one with Christmas lights up year round because they’re too lazy to take them down, not because they’re actually that jolly in July. Fear not, because Americans love politics, and your statement will never go out of style. Almost never. And your neighbors will never get tired of walking past it.

Sign Re-Purposement #3: Create something new from something old. And your sign is now…old. Use it as a place mat, or better yet, a tray in TDR (Take that, trayless TDR!). Put it in a frame and pretend it’s a rad piece of art you bought at Urban Outfitters. Fold it in half and use it as a giant birthday card.

Sign Re-Purposement #4:

DAVID_SHANKBONE / FLICKR

The simplest answer is often the best. Save your sign for the next election cycle. Two years from now politicians will not be dancing across aisles in a bipartisan frenzy, our economy will not have bounced back, the Tea Partiers will still be calling Obama a raving Socialist from Kenya with a Hitler-stache, and you can re-use your sign!