The Top 30 Reasons I’m Glad I Have POTS

Preamble: Due to my heightened sense of my own importance, I’m calling this a preamble, because I believe my words are just as important as those in the Constitution. Just kidding…I just like the word preamble. Anyway, this is the third in a series of blogs on my life with POTS. My first blog has a comprehensive explanation of what POTS is, and can be found at: http://blogs.theeagleonline.com/people-to-people/2011/10/my-life-with-pots/.

When a person with POTS says that if they could choose to go back and get sick all over again, they would because the experience has made them a better person, I’m pretty sure they are full of it. Because really, is it worth being a better person if you can’t stand up? But in an effort to be more positive, something that doesn’t always come naturally to me, I’ve decided to compile a list of the Top Thirty Reasons Why I’m Glad I Have POTS:

1)      I can stay in my pajamas all day and no one can judge me.

2)     When I bring home yummy food, I write “Don’t Eat—It Belongs to a Chronically Ill Child” on the container, and no one eats it.

3)     POTS  is not degenerative.

4)     Handicapped parking!

5)     My mom used to yell at me for spending my life watching TV. Not anymore!

6)     If I ever find myself in the presence of a celebrity, I have a surefire way to meet them: faint! For example, if I had been in the zumba class that Michelle Obama attended, I could’ve passed out, had her rush to my side in concern, and gotten some serious face time!

7)     If fainting doesn’t work, a letter to my favorite celebrities explaining my devastating condition would probably get me some face-time (and maybe a backstage pass?).

8)     Priority registration!

9)     I have a go-to answer for the interview question “Can you give an example of a time you overcame a challenge?”

10)  I have become a walking medical dictionary.

11)   People with POTS tend to feel worse when the dew point is higher. Since the dew point indicates whether or not it is going to rain, I can predict the weather based on how I am feeling. I have not been without an umbrella when I’ve needed one since getting sick.

12)  I have a purpose in life: getting people with POTS the awareness they deserve.

13)  “POTS” is a disorder with a name that lends itself to lots of puns (and drug references).

14)  “POTS” also has a built-in name for a PR campaign: STOP POTS.

15)  The friendships that have endured through this have gotten much stronger.

16)  I’m a white, middle-class girl from the suburbs, and potential employers still consider me a minority.

17)  Because I’m constantly at my POTS doctor, I no longer have to go to the yearly physicals where my super-awkward pediatrician winks every time she says “puberty” and nudges me and wiggles her eyebrows when she asks, “So…how’s your love life?”

18)  I use the handicapped shower on my floor, and since no one else uses it, I can store a ton of my stuff in there. Extra towels, my shower caddy…you name it!

19)  I have been lucky enough to meet a wonderful group of people who also have POTS.

20) I am able to fully embrace my love of pop culture and television.

21)  I’ve finally learned how to swallow pills.

22) I have a unique perspective to bring to everything I do.

23) I have a new Australian best friend—who I met because she also has POTS—with a real AUSTRALIAN ACCENT!

24)  Since malls are pretty much out, POTS feeds my online shopping addiction.

25) I am no longer required to go on my family’s annual camping trip.

26) I can use POTS as an excuse not to go to parties and get drunk on the weekends. No one has to know that I’d actually just prefer to stay in with my friends in pajamas.

27) I have a solid sob story if I’m ever featured on reality TV.

28) Since I can’t carry heavy things anymore, I think it’s about time to trade in my 30-pound clunker of a laptop for a Mac. (Mom? Dad? Are you reading this?)

29) I can cross stand-up comedian off my list of possible careers. One down, 499 to go.

30) I can pronounce (and spell) words like ‘dysautonomia.’