If there’s a prize for rotten judgment…

RANDY PERTIET // FLICKR

When you imagine your ideal boyfriend or girlfriend, where do you find your inspiration? Celebrities: “a do-gooder classic gentleman like George Clooney…” “someone with a body like Angelina Jolie, man!”  TV characters: “That Detective Stabler from SVU is LITERALLY perfect.” “I would totally go out with Serena from Gossip Girl.” Or professional athletes: “Tom Brady is the sexiest man alive, and he’s such a good quarterback, too!” (that’s the example for both genders, I know too many guys who have more than just a man crush on Tom Brady) (Author’s Note: I do not find Tom Brady sexy, I have never seen someone I want to punch in the face more than Tom Brady.) Some of us, however, fall into the trap—or should I say proverbial well—of basing our expectations of love on Disney romances. Every girl is looking for her Prince Eric, but how realistic is that in terms of finding a partner in contemporary society? Most Disney relationships are based on unconditional love and a lack of real conversation. Literally, in The Little Mermaid, Ariel can’t speak to Prince Eric until the last half hour of the movie. What kind of relationship is that, other than a stalkerish, almost pedophilic (Ariel is sixteen, people.), fantastical bond? I am not willing to acknowledge the Little Mermaid sequel as examples where Ariel and Eric speak…why they make sequels to Disney masterpieces is beyond me. In Snow White, what interaction do Snow White and Prince Charming have besides singing to each other for about five minutes and then kissing at the end? Even in the later movies, where there is some semblance of character development, (for example, Hercules, where Meg has a brain and Herc is adorably socially awkward) the dynamic, realistic dimensions of relationships are forgone for idealistic, “happy endings”, which society recognizes as fantasy.

But why, then, do we continue to dream about such an impossibility?

Perhaps it is generational: our parents and grandparents grew up with movies and TV that were live action, without the heavy influence of Disney, but also in a time filled with much less fear and recognized danger, except for the Cold War. Our generation has been almost too exposed and has become too attached to the fantasy, which we cling to, maybe to cope with the failure of our parents’ marriages (with the increased divorce rate) or the unwillingness to face the harsh truths of the real world. Regardless, we cannot hope to nurture real romantic relationships with the unattainable expectations which come from Disney movies. It’s just too much. Women are not waist-less with perfect bodies and skin and flowy hair. (how was Ariel’s hair ALWAYS perfect—in the water and on land??) Girls are not always selfless, subservient, and do not always have perfect singing voices. Men are not always chivalrous or eternally devoted—people are human in contrast to the caricature portrayed in animated flaws. We all have bigger flaws than lying about our economic background (Aladdin) or narcissisticly fueled rage (Beauty and the Beast).  Flaws are what make us human, and should be accepted and, in some cases, embraced in terms of modern relationships.  Now, I’m not discounting the possibility of an actual Prince Charming existing, but I’m thinking it’s safe to say I won’t find a guy willing to give up his immortality for me like Herc just yet. Here’s to hoping…here’s to dreaming…but when it comes to real expectations in finding love, as hard as it may be, you should leave the magic to Disney and make some compromises, be open minded, and make a Herculean effort to just be yourself.