Cheap Date Night

jdurham / MORGUEFILE.COM

As a favor to those of you readers who dropped over $20 on your date this weekend, I’m going to tell you the secret Wynn technique for a cheap and easy date.  The golden arches are the golden gate to a good night.  That’s right – McDonalds!  Take your girl out for some late night, greasy, fast food.

You might be skeptical and say, “Well I can find better places than that which only cost a few more dollars… I’m not really saving that much money anyways.”  WRONG!  The top notch Wynn technique is unbelievably cheap and satisfying on top of that.  First, you start by suggesting to your date that the weather is nice and the night sky is beautiful.  She’s outside = 1st step complete.

Subtly suggesting that you two should grab a quick bite to eat is key.  You have to plant the idea that eating should not be an all night event.  Meanwhile, you should be walking and leading your date closer to McDonalds without her knowing.  Once you finally arrive at your destination, you can give a clever point at the door and shout, “Oh hey!  We should eat here.”  She should hopefully agree and then you’re in.

Now that was the tricky part – here comes the easy, good part.  Want a huge, expensive Big Mac?  Too Bad.  Order a McDouble burger off the dollar menu.  Request free Big Mac sauce on it – problem solved.  Order a small fries off the dollar menu.  Pay the $2.09 for your meal and then after the receipt is in your hand, sneakily say, “Oh yeah, can I please get a free water cup?”  Done.

There you have it; two dollars and nine cents for a full meal.  Try doing better than that at a fast food restaurant, I dare you. But anyways, concluding the date is the most important part.  Reaffirm that your goal was to walk around outside and enjoy yourselves, especially since that is free!  Take your date to the amphitheater outside by North Side, sit down on the grass, and keep each other warm, if you know what I mean.