The Primal Nature of Dating and The Deal-breaker
It’s interesting how animalistic we humans can be, especially in the dating world. Whether we realize it or not we are constantly making decisions based on the primal instinct to survive and – gasp! – reproduce. Now obviously none of us are running around trying to start families at this point in our lives, but we are looking for physical traits and behavioral patterns we wouldn’t mind passing on to our offspring later in life, should we choose to go in that direction. I think it is precisely this instinctual desire for a genetically healthy mate that differentiates what we find sexually attractive from what we don’t. Our primal instincts define our deal-breakers. That’s how we choose the people we do.
Are you a guy/girl who likes “manly” men, or are you more into the sensitive type? Can’t deal with a date who’s got bad teeth/breath/manners/style? Prefer the athletic build to the shrimpy, or the buxom to the rail-thin?
If you have an answer to any of the questions above, primal instincts are at play in your life. Just take a moment to think about it. You’ve all probably had the experience of falling out of like with someone suddenly because of one (seemingly) insignificant thing. Maybe it was the way she laughed or his irritating tendency to grind his teeth; regardless of the details, a single unfavorable quirk can go a long way – sometimes it can even break the deal.
These quirky little deal-breakers are usually directly related to some physiological trait that we, albeit unconsciously, do not want passed down to our children. The “bad skin” deal-breaker is a perfect example of this. I have friends who will not date a person with excessively bad skin. It’s a deal-breaker for them; and I totally understand that. On the surface you’re thinking, “That’s just unattractive that s/he has so many zits. I could never get past it if we dated.” but somewhere in the dank recesses of your primordial self you’re thinking, “This person’s genetics are seriously flawed. If we had children they would have bad skin, too; and I don’t want that to happen.” It may seem harsh, but it’s true.
The point of dating (in a survivalist sense) is eventual reproduction; and the point of reproduction is furthering of the species; and the species won’t do very well if the offspring we contribute to the genetic pool can’t swim well enough to go on and reproduce one day themselves. So the deal-breaker performs its function well by discouraging us from coupling with those individuals cursed with sub-par genes; and the primal nature of dating is revealed. Instinct: it’s how we choose the people we do.
Posted in Dating in the District